Over 20 years working on startups (mine and other peoples), automating marketing and operations. Multiple career holder. High school drop out, masters work in Physics. I write every week to help you grow and automate your startup.
Since 2008 I've worked at startups. I spent years chasing equity thinking "this will be the last one and I'll deal with my happiness after the exit".
Those exits never came. There are many horror stories around shareholder agreements and broken promises. I've seen some. Buyer beware on the big exit.
What came instead were three kids, born in one of the most expensive cities in the world. One of those kids suffers from disease that will take him early.
The burnout from working like a machine hit the PTSD of child-raising and I was unable to "suck it up" or "push through it".
Finding my way from where I was to where I am today took some doing. It's a never ending process of staying on the path and focusing on what's important. Anyone who says it's easy has only read about it.
Other parents I've spoken with struggle to get their own emotional needs met.
stresses of providing and parenting often lead to anxiety and feelings of inadequacy.
demands of work and emotional escape from a burnout eat into focused kid time.
Lack of sleep, poor diet, and limited exercise can lead to health issues
These all feed one another leaving parents in dire straits.
Parents personal identities get overshadowed by their role as caregivers. especially if they struggle to find time for hobbies, friendships, or career pursuits.
Parenthood shifts focus away from individual fulfillment. Many parents feeling their unique identities have taken a backseat.
There is a belief that as a parent you "put yourself (and your own needs) last".
"You can't have everything".
10 months ago I decided it was time for everything.
Who are you?
You have that list of things in your head that "you will get to" one day.
Make that one day "Today".
In 30 minutes a day you can heal your soul and find a sense of self.
Yes, it sounds like an infomercial for a workout tool.
5AM, Noon & 9PM. One of these times is free.
Don't make it about "being the best". Make it about "being":
Don't think about running the marathon. Start with something achievable - lose 3 pounds, run a half mile, squat 100 pounds. Whatever that next level is for you. I run short distances 4-5 times a week. It fits into my schedule. I work on going a little faster every time. My goal isn't to win a marathon. It's to enjoy being outside, thinking, feeling good and preventing cardio-vascular disease.
Pick up an old hobby (or start a new one). For me, it was music. As a kid, I was a pretty good violinist. Getting my hands on a used beat up violin and an old practice book was an idea. My hands were bigger, and I sounded like shit, but I remembered every note of every song. I rediscovered what I enjoyed long ago, and started enjoying again. It gave me a sense of self and opened a doorway to playing other instruments. I practice 30 minutes a day.
Start a side hustle. Nobody does an exit in a week. Nobody gets their first sale in a day. Everyone who ever started their own business needed some time to figure it out. Isn't there something you've always wanted to do? Start learning what it takes to get there. It might be closer than you think. I've had many careers in my life and I'm no more special than you.
And yes, you can start a company in an hour a day.
The most expensive thing in the list above is the $200 violin. Running is free. Starting and marketing your ideas and asking for sales costs nothing.
Here's where the power comes from. You don't have to sacrifice other things to do this. By spending time on yourself every day, the rest of your day improves.
You start showing up for things. You are present. You enjoy your kids.
You've found yourself again. And you carry around that pride and happiness of your own value, and it infects everything you touch.
You even enjoy your job a little more, but we can't all have miracles.
Thanks for reading.
Matt
I'm Free. Literally.
For November, I'm making myself available for free for advice and coaching work. If you want to have time to talk through what's keeping you from your biggest goals, I'm here.
I help Solopreneurs Scale Profitable Companies to 7 figures.
Over 20 years working on startups (mine and other peoples), automating marketing and operations. Multiple career holder. High school drop out, masters work in Physics. I write every week to help you grow and automate your startup.
